What If?

From time to time John will be writing posts as well and this is his first one:

I have to admit, I'm nervous.
As the days draw closer and closer to surgery day for Pam, I find myself thinking more and more about her surgery.  And with each passing day, the "what ifs" become more frequent and complex.

What if the car breaks down on the way to Peoria?

What if the hotel we're staying in the night before isn't a relaxing place to sleep before a major operation?

What if we're late for the pre-op appointment the day of the surgery? Is the surgery postponed?

What if there are more issues than initially anticipated once the surgeon is doing her thing?

What if the doctors determine a hysterectomy has to be performed? Instead of helping us get pregnant, the complete reverse happens.

What if Pam has complications from her surgery?

What if her recovery doesn't go as planned?

What if this surgery doesn't help?

What if?

These are just a few of the thoughts I've had in the past few weeks, and there will no doubt be more to come. What I do know is I'm nervous, and no doubt will continue to feel this way through the surgery and beyond. I'm just hoping that all goes as planned, and if it doesn't go the way Pam and I have planned, I can only hope that the plans someone has planned for us are for a good life, with other options for children still a possibility.